How to Be the Parent We Want to Be, in Recovery
Parenting in normal times is already challenging, and the challenges are only amplified when we add recovery into the equation. In addition to caring for your child’s growth, academic work, and social life, you also need to minimize the negative effects of your past substance use history on your child. Creating a stable home environment by rebuilding familial relationships is another aspect of parenting in recovery.
Communication to Children About Substance Use
If you have been in residential treatment for a while, your child might wonder about the reason for your absence at home. Instead of denying the problem, use this as a teachable moment to educate your child about how substance use can develop into a treatable disease. While your child does not need to know every detail of your recovery, you should take enough time to explain your situation in an age-appropriate manner. This also helps dispel some stigma related to addiction.
The importance of open communication in parenting cannot be over-emphasized. By speaking openly about your own challenges and sharing your vulnerabilities, you will gain a lot of trust from your child. This also encourages our children to share their feelings and thoughts with you. There is nothing more precious than keeping an open channel of communication with your child. They will learn how to express and manage emotions by sharing with the trusted people in their life.
Making Amends in Family Relationships
Addiction affects everyone in the home. When you achieve sobriety, invest time in repairing your relationships. When you take ownership of your past mistakes, including substance addiction and many related emotional issues such as anger, you are showing your family members that you are ready to start anew. Make sincere apologies to your family and children for the harm you have brought them while under the influence of drugs and alcohol.
Parenting can be easier if you have more stable relationships. Consider your spouse or co-parent, if you have one, as a key part of this new transition. Ask for help when you need a moment to destress from caring for your children. Explain how health professionals have coached you to prevent relapse by managing emotions and reducing stress. As parents or caregivers, if you can both prioritize your sobriety around the many challenges in the home, you will feel more supported on this journey toward recovery.
Rebuilding Healthy Boundaries in the Home
Substance addiction and parenting share one common challenge: maintaining healthy boundaries. Apart from your sobriety, this should be another guiding principle when you transition back to family life — for example, many parents in recovery like to overindulge their children because of guilt. However, a responsible parent should set limits to encourage healthy behaviors in children.
Disciplining your child is another area many parents find difficult. The key, again, is setting healthy boundaries and sticking with them. You should balance warm acceptance and rule-setting so that your children know how to take responsibility for their own behavior.
Integrate Self-Care Techniques Into Parenting
Maybe you have been so overworked before that you rarely took time for family activities. In recovery, you can slow down and rebuild your family life around meaningful and fun activities, including exercises, outdoor time, new hobbies, and arts and music. These align with what recovery specialists coached you on how to practice self-care. Building relaxation activities into family life can help create fun memories with your children. You will find this space very energizing too.
If your children are old enough, include them in your meditation and mindfulness exercises. Teach them to identify stress in daily life and use these techniques to relax the body and the mind. Explain to them that these activities help you recover. Also, consider getting involved in community service where you can give back to your neighborhoods.
Rely on a Strong Support System
In recovery, you still need to depend on an external support system as you are caring for your family. Surround yourself with sober friends who enjoy a healthy lifestyle. Attend your peer support groups regularly. Having external support can provide an extra outlet for venting about your challenges and frustrations with parenting when you need it. Exchanging advice with your sober peer group can help you become a better parent. There you will meet people who are in similar situations as yours.
Relapse prevention should always be a part of your ongoing recovery. With parenting responsibilities, stress may likely build into cravings. This is when you need to rely on trusted recovery experts you once worked with. Maybe begin outpatient therapy again to get through this challenging phase. Remember to be honest with your family and do not lie or hide your situation. Trust among family members is a foundational building block. With enough support, you will regain hope and motivation to press onward with recovery.
As you transition to family life after rehab, you still need to depend on an external support system. In your role as a parent, you especially need to keep up with relapse prevention measures. This is because parenting-related stress may likely build up until you are struggling with cravings. This is when you need to rely on the trusted recovery experts you once worked with. At Capo Canyon Recovery, near Mission Viejo, CA, we take pride in our holistic path, which is incremental to sustainable and long-term recovery. We focus on each stage of recovery, both in terms of physical health and mental health. Our inpatient residential care and outpatient, long-term care programs offer unmatched benefits. We provide excess comfort with an in-house chef, luxurious beds, and an onsite organic garden during your sobriety journey. With Capo Canyon Recovery, you can rely on us to help you achieve long-term sobriety. Call us at (800) 804-8714.